As a professional Tarot Reader, I get asked this question all the time - “Are they my twin flame?” Usually it’s from clients who are inquiring about some guy they just started dating, someone who doesn’t reciprocate their love or even a celebrity they feel unnaturally drawn to.
Come to think of it, I’ve never been asked if someone’s husband or wife is their twin flame. I’ve been told a number of times that they most certainly are not, but this is most likely because happily wed couples don’t need some “internet tarot reader” to validate their sacred union. I know my place.
There is, however, two distinctly polarizing sides to the karmic twin flame phenomenon that I'd like to talk about; there’s the ever-romantic/star-crossed lovers syndrome and then there’s the destructive toxicity of excusing someone’s horribly abusive behavior in the name of your flame. But before I even go there, I’d like to talk about what twin flames are.
Twin flames are two halves of the same evolved soul divided by The Creator, Spirit, The Monad, or the Great Serpent (as like to think of it), to reunite across an ocean of time, again and again, throughout countless different incarnations. Often the karmic consequences of this separation can be dire, as one twin goes into a destructive descent while the other spiritually rises during their time apart.
If pain, trauma, fear, and betrayal run too deep in the destructive twin, then their own energetic vibrations might be too low to recognize their more spiritually evolved other half when they finally meet. This can go the other way too, where an extremely successful twin may not want to believe that his true flame is not the trophy wife he married, but the non-materialistic girl who was there for him when he was still building his dream business out of his mom’s basement.
The point is, our other half is rarely the person we want it to be, but tragedy is often the result of twin flames running from one another. The only way to break this cycle is with absolutely honesty both to yourself and to your twin, with unwavering integrity and with altruistic unconditional love. Now, this is where things get complicated, because first and foremost you have to ask:
1) Do you real even believe in twin flames? And...
2) Is the person you’re lavishing this most sacred of label's upon truly yours?
Personally, I believe.
Despite a lifetime of various relationships that run the gamut from supportive companionship to lustful volatility, there’s a hopeless romantic in me that knows I haven’t yet met The One. As most of you know, I’m on a divine quest to transform this planet through awakening consciousness and self-empowerment. I want my queen to be my perfect compliment and have our combined cosmological power be a Mind, Body and Spiritual force like the world has never seen. Consider the bar set pretty high.
The second question of “how do you know” leads me back to my earlier statement on destructive toxicity. Simply put, don’t try to convince yourself someone who isn’t worthy of your time is your twin flame out of some savior complex. If the man/woman you’re dating or wanting to date is someone who threatens you, walks all over you, humiliates you, and/or abuses you, THEY ARE NOT YOUR TWIN FLAME.
Yes, your twin flame may be the one on a destructive descent and may be frightened, reserved and even cold to you. This is where you really have to trust your intuition and your higher power. Your twin flame may come across like a wounded animal who seems dangerous, but is really in desperate need of healing, and moreover, in need of your help. But don’t mistake a predator, who is really just looking to emotionally and spiritually devour you, for a broken creature. (Energy vampires, anyone?)
With the exception of outright abuse, it's okay to give your suspected twin flame a chance or two. Give them the benefit of the doubt and be passively persistent, as in be consistently there for them, but don’t suffocate them and don’t tell them what you believe too soon. Get to know them. Despite popular opinion, I don’t always believe you know your twin flame at first sight.
If they repeatedly violate you and your trust, then they’re either outright not your twin flame, or so utterly unready for you, that you should walk away all the same. Tell them you’ll be there for them whenever they are ready and then leave, metaphorically closing that door for now. If life brings them back to you later down the road, then you will know the truth.
But how do you know?
First and foremost, it’s not just about physical attraction, it’s way beyond that. The most visceral physiological sensation you feel is in your fourth chakra, the heart, which deeply pulsates or tenses up at the mere thought of this person.
The true indicator, however, is the overwhelming, animalistic urge of primal protection you feel toward your twin, like a mother toward her baby, or an older brother toward his kid sister. Their pain pierces to the deepest core of your body, and their energy can penetrate straight into your soul. To hurt your twin flame is to hurt yourself. Treat them like you would any other fire. Nurture them and allow them to warm you, because they have the potential to destroy you, as you do them.
Uniting with your twin flame can be the most earth-shattering romance you’ve ever experienced, but it isn’t always romantic. Maybe you two were karmically brought together to heal one another, or for an artistic collaboration or to create a world-altering business. You don’t know what the purpose of meeting your twin flame in this life will be, but to avoid it would profoundly diminish your experience of being alive.